Yesterday was my work Christmas night out. I had a great time during the day - me & my manager went out for our own wee Christmas lunch to Pizza Express (oh the glamour!) and had a few drinks and a great laugh. After that we went down to the bar at work to watch Come Dine With Me. Now, I know that might sound weird but CDWM was in Edinburgh this week, and one of the guys works in the building I work in, and a crowd went down to the bar to watch the final episode, which was also his night. It was good fun. Then we headed up the Royal Mile to a fancy little cocktail bar called Monteith's, which is really nice with lots of fairy lights. My friend met us there, then we went to a dodgy bar which I hated! We were only there for one though, and then headed to the hotel which our dinner was. I was a bit tipsy by then and having a good time.
Then it all started to go wrong.
Nothing really happened I just stopped having a good time and I wasn't having a laugh and kind of felt like I didn't fit in. I moved to Edinburgh properly about a year ago and I feel it's been difficult to make proper friends here. I have made a few I would say but not enough to make me happy :-/
I have my friend S who is a lovely guy but sometimes he's hard work. He can be veeeeeeeeeeery quiet and I feel like I have to make all the conversation, and then if I stop doing that, he won't start and will just stay quiet and I feel awkward :( I also have my friend (another S) who moved from Glasgow to live with her bf and is one of my proper friends from home, but now when I meet her in Edinburgh I feel bored because all she does is moan about bf and all their troubles. But, then I think "is the common denominator, me?" I have to have some part in it, right? So that makes me feel shit.
I miss my friends from home and how easy it is to be with them. I told my bf about this last night and his suggestion was to arrange to meet my friends tomorrow in Glasgow for lunch which I have arranged. I don't do this that much coz it costs to get here and back but I feel I need it.
The other thing is...... I seen pictures of me from last night and I look so fat in every picture :( shallow I know :(
I know this is (hopefully) just a phase I am going through like we all do from time to time xx
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